One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The struggles of a small town man whore
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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