how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
