Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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