I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Found your dick twin last night
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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