Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
