i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
