So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
