Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
