38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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