This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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