Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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