OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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