Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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