I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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