I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize