The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Randomize
