in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
