Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
