I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
