Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
