flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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