people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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