she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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