Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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