Well douche your snatch and let's go!
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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