So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
