Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
