i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
