Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
