don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
