your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
