Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
