i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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