i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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