I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
