Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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