If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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