my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
