your thong is hanging out like whoa
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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