What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
there was a trapeze. enough said
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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