it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
