His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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