Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
