mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
the condom got lost in my hair
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
