We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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