: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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