My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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