uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize