She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
