Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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