thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You pole danced in your parka.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
