come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
