I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
