Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize