Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
