We should be called the Road Head Warriors
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
