Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
