physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
