And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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