when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
