office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
